Attitude of Gratitude: Day 28: We Will All Be Needy At Some Point

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Day 28: We Will All Be Needy At Some Point

"God does notice us, and He watches over us. But it is usually through another person that He meets our needs."
-Spencer W. Kimball

I remember reading this quote displayed in the Kimball Building on BYU-Idaho's campus while I attended college. Aahh, those were carefree days. I always liked it, but this week I know for myself that it is true.

My first three weeks in my new place of residence (room 241 in St. Joseph's Hospital) went by relatively fast and uneventful until the last two and a half days.

It has definitely been challenging physically, mentally, and spiritually to stay afloat, but my prayers were answered in the form of numerous acts of kindness from various individuals.

I had more deliveries, phone calls, visits and emails in the past couple of days than I've had in four weeks of bed rest. Complete strangers have dropped in to wish me well and keep me company. Children in our Primary have drawn me pictures. The women in my Relief Society have written me thoughtful notes. Members of my ward have driven the hour and a half to visit me. Care packages full of delicious and thoughtful gifts have arrived. Flower arrangements have been delivered. Emails have been written bearing testimony and offering encouragement. It was as if the moment I was too weak to stand you were all there to pick me up and carry me through.

Thank you so much to every one of these individuals. You know who you are. I am so grateful to be the recipient of so much service and hope that I in turn will always take the opportunity to pass along to others what has been done to me.

I know full well that I am not singular in my struggle. Everyone has trials. In fact, the more I learn about some of the challenges you face, my gratitude for my little set of problems increases.
Thank you for remembering us, for your compassion. There really aren't words to describe the feelings that come when you are on the receiving end of such Christ-like love.

We love you all and hope that you are being sustained through your trials.

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About this Blog

On the eighth of June, two thousand and ten I delivered my second child at twenty-eight weeks of development, a stillborn son whom we named Shiloh. I had spent forty-seven days on bed rest, thirty-one of them at St. Joseph’s Hospital an hour and a half from our residence in Eau Claire, Wisconsin due to complications related to my placenta and the loss of my amniotic fluid. The doctors had no explanation for the unexpected death of our seemingly healthy child, attributing it later as a cord accident, a rare occurrence even in a high-risk case like mine. I am not writing this to dwell on what was lost; rather, what was gained. Shortly after I was diagnosed with the loss of my membranes at the end of April, I went on a self-induced bed rest. While on bed rest, I kept family and friends updated through daily posts on our family’s blog. What began as a means of staying in touch developed into an eighty plus day journal I entitled my Attitude of Gratitude. Taking the opportunity to daily recognize and express gratitude for the tender mercies of the Lord while Shiloh lived blessed me with the strength to endure his death. I gained a greater ability to trust the Lord, have patience through affliction, and compassion for the suffering of others. I learned for myself that the Lord does love us, that he rejoices in our triumphs, sorrows in our pain, and waits patiently for us to turn our hearts to him.

W.T. Purkiser said, “Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving.”
With that, I present this memoir as a means of preserving and
sharing the precious life and lessons of my beautiful Shiloh.