I am not a patient person. I've been known to tell the microwave to hurry up when I'm heating pre-cooked bacon. Yes. It is that bad. I blame my Grandma Beth. I inherited a genetic disorder from her called hyper-butt syndrome (Mom says it skips a generation), and it makes it impossible to not go 100 miles per hour regardless of the task.
Coincidence that I may end up being on bed rest for over 12 weeks?
I think not.
And the ironic part is it is self-induced! I choose to subject myself to this day-after-day. My nurses tell me that a lot of women refuse to do what I am doing--they can't get past the inconvenience it creates, and shift their focus from a me-centered universe. They put their own agendas, desires, what have you before others. Essentially, it is selfishness: that inability to delay gratification, or apply focus and dedicated effort to a worthwhile cause.
I was a very selfish person. This is helping me to be less so.
I am very grateful for that.
A life lived for yourself is not one worth living.
Trust me.
'Patience is not passive resignation, nor is it failing to act because of fears. Patience means active waiting and enduring...It is not simply enduring; it is enduring well.'
-President Dieter F. Uchtdorf
I don't want to sit (sorry, lay) here and strip my gears waiting and wondering why oh why has this befallen me. No, that would be dumb.
I want to endure well. It's a trademark quality of all the great men and women I look up to.
I've been false-starting the race of my life for years and running faster than I have strength trying to keep up with others while all I really needed to do was lace up my shoes, step on the track and give it my best.
Thank heavens the Head Coach pulled me aside for a few minutes to explain all of this.
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