Attitude of Gratitude: Day 20: Thanks For My Burden

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On the eighth of June, two thousand and ten I delivered my second child at twenty-eight weeks of development, a stillborn son whom we named Shiloh. I had spent forty-seven days on bed rest, thirty-one of them at St. Joseph’s Hospital an hour and a half from our residence in Eau Claire, Wisconsin due to complications related to my placenta and the loss of my amniotic fluid. The doctors had no explanation for the unexpected death of our seemingly healthy child, attributing it later as a cord accident, a rare occurrence even in a high-risk case like mine. I am not writing this to dwell on what was lost; rather, what was gained. Shortly after I was diagnosed with the loss of my membranes at the end of April, I went on a self-induced bed rest. While on bed rest, I kept family and friends updated through daily posts on our family’s blog. What began as a means of staying in touch developed into an eighty plus day journal I entitled my Attitude of Gratitude. Taking the opportunity to daily recognize and express gratitude for the tender mercies of the Lord while Shiloh lived blessed me with the strength to endure his death. I gained a greater ability to trust the Lord, have patience through affliction, and compassion for the suffering of others. I learned for myself that the Lord does love us, that he rejoices in our triumphs, sorrows in our pain, and waits patiently for us to turn our hearts to him.

W.T. Purkiser said, “Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving.”
With that, I present this memoir as a means of preserving and
sharing the precious life and lessons of my beautiful Shiloh.

Attitude of Gratitude

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Day 20: Thanks For My Burden

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