It's 4 a.m. I can't sleep--so I have wrote (more like adapted) you all a song concerning the difficulties of my predicament right now.
See, my dietitian informs me that I need to gain weight (I won't tell you how little I've gained this pregnancy--you mothers would cringe and cover your eyes), and I realized that this might be the only chance I get to make you all jealous.
Ha, ha, ha--(evil laugh)
(To the tune of It's the Hard Knock Life from the musical Annie-and a one, and a two, and a. . .)
It's the hard-knock life for me!
It's the hard-knock life for me!
'Steada apples,
I get cake,
'Steada bananas
Chocolate milkshakes
It's the hard-knock life!
Got no fat to speak of, so,
Eat all I want to grow!
Bagels 'n' smeare
'Steada toast
Bacon 'n' sausage
Sunday pot roast
It's the hard-knock life!
Can you hear my stomach a growl'n?
Guess I'll take another bite!
Better eat that flaky pastry
It's so wrong it can't be right!
Dietitian's there when your plates all clean!
Only cares if you grow. . .or if you shrink!
One more bite and I swear I'll turn green!
After all this eatin' and she wants me to have an Ensure drink!
Ohhhh!!!!!!!!!!
Full belly life!
Always eatin' life!
Full of heartburn life!
More tomorrow life!
Exercise I never see
Jillian Michaels, what's that?
Who's she?
Piece a cheesecake? Just a smidge
Save the rest for later in the fridge!
It's the hard-knock life for me
It's the hard-knock life for me
Chocolate brownie? One more piece.
Calorie consumption must increase
IT'S A HARD-KNOCK LIFE!
____________________
Hate me yet? Ok, it honestly isn't this bad--thinking of food actually makes me want to throw up but we might as well appreciate the irony of the situation right?
(Also, my dietician is amazing--I love her, but today she got to play the bad guy. So Sorry!)
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